|The "Courting" Approach Of Modern Dating|
|by Rion Williams|
In order to get you to change yoor ineffective behaviors, you are going to have to unlearn and then learn what is actually closer to your natural reality (which is ironically what no one else is teaching). You are going to have to learn some different things because your entire life you're been taught wrong about how to be successful with women.
Even the approach where so-called 'relationship experts' will tell you to 'court a woman' and take her out on dinner and dates, doesn't really match up with what the modern Metro and sexually aware woman wants. That is traditional that used to work but simply put, times have changed.
She wants to exercise her freedom and rights without having all be high expectancy or connotations denoted with the 'courtship' behavior that is still taught by our parents and so prevalent in the 50-50 dating dynamics in our culture. This includes buying her dinner, flowers, gifts, taking her out, being nice and walking on eggshells.
If you really want to actually have sex with a lot of women, I'm just going to tell you that the relationship context of courting (or even 'dating') her is actually counterproductive (as 'Will Daddy' says) to getting laid. It will only have her delay sex specifically because of the frame of the relationship instead of it 'naturally' progressing through your lead (which is NOT difficult when you are in the proper paradigm). And you must lead by the way...you set the frame.
The courting approach is used when people are interested in each other for marriage; this is just too much pressure for the casual and fun-loving American woman.
When you set up this kind of a courting frame with her, she is going to withhold sex from you purposely even if she keeps you around because that is the frame that you are in; she wouldn't want to 'give you up' right away or risk losing you by having that part over at the beginning. It is just going to leave you even more frustrated and you'll have to keep spending time and dollars and neither of you are really enjoying it. Not to mention, it sucks for real attraction.
She wants things to be more casual, carefree and natural. She wants it to develop naturally without all of the high expectations or potential consequences of letting a man 'woo' her. In this approach anyway she will often go for the highest status male, which leaves a lot of men in the dust anyways. From this standpoint she'll expect favors and gifts, etc. without the focus being on what matters; you and her, being closer, getting to know one another (and that includes physically).
Look at the end in mind: do you really plan on marrying this girl? And then you had better rethink the traditional dating or courting approach. Get to know the fun, comfortable, sexy side of her where she is more being herself than with the expectations across a dinner table in the courtship game.
If you really want have success with women, you should focus on the chemistry between you instead of trying to 'pay for her attention' (as Dave DeAngelo says). It is not that you have to be cheap, but remember that J. Lo said, 'love don't cost a thing'. The focus SHOULD be on just you two and getting to know each other, casually and fun. Remember, 'girls just want to have fun'.
You can easily have more fun with a woman when all of the pressure is off and you can just be casual and have a good time with their, teas her, make her LAUGH and flirt instead of feeling resentment at paying for her meal (like every other guy), going home and spanking the monkey.
And you do not even have to spend a lot of money because the focus is really just on you two and the natural process of attraction. If you are trying to impress her with your money, job, or anything like that she is probably going to resent it more because you are trying to give her superficial surface value which you think might attract her. It's still like you're trying (desperately) to 'win' her approval and a high enough social status thing just might cover it.
She's not going to 'feel' attraction to this though her social persona might notate it. And be careful because depending on the type of girl she is, she could milk you for it anyways if you're a sucker. Don't brag about your money (or lack of it)..remain a mystery and let her figure things out slowly as this will keep her in your orbit. Women will use men because the men are still being 'suckers' (sadly) because they don't get it.
Why would a woman possibly take every single advantage with all of these men who want to court her, it is ridiculous and not even what she is looking for. She does not want to be courted unless she is specifically ready for marriage or finds a socially acceptable man of high status, and even then she will often be quite bored with him if he doesn't create natural attraction and satisfied that deeper desire of hers (emotional, sexual and biologically connected).
What's crazy is that almost all men act like this by coming from a traditional courting approach (which is yes more traditional and natural) but just doesn't work with these women because they are not looking for marriage from this unnatural (in their mind) start to a relationship; especially with every guy that comes along who is throwing his idea 'wow, you're beautiful' at her.
Although she may think you are a good catch for the long-term, remember that you are in competition with all of the other men that act like that and she's basing her decision on a social status scale of who is the best man that she could catch for marriage. That's why, DON'T ACT LIKE THAT. Hey, I have too because it was how we were 'taught'. Times have drastically changed. It's like some educational institutions can't keep up with our fast changing times, nor the banking industry still can't have realtime electronic transfers (why does it take a couple days to clear a check? Put me in charge of that and I'll fix it, there's no excuse unless they want to keep it slow for people to keep their jobs).
Meanwhile there are other men who can just be themselves around her without even having to spend a lot of money, who can fulfill her sexual desires while both of them don't have to put up with the expectations or obligations associated with taking a woman on a 'traditional date'.
You should realize that today's women really are NOT acting traditionally, although it seems that natural thing to do. Also in today's society, it is now OK to have relationships with dozens of different people instead of just looking for a marriage partner anyways the way things used to be. This stems from several reasons I won't go into now.
If you go at the approach in your dating life of 'courting' women or taking them out on dates, you are delaying sex and you are not making her any happier either unless she thinks you actually are a catch for the long haul and she is ready. Men are falling into a paradigm (stuck there actually) that is so prevalent in our society that is the underlying social factor in why both men and women are frustrated, confused, bewildered, anxious and unfulfilled.
Remember most of these women are not wanting to associate with the heavy responsibilities of marriage the first time they meet another regular guy or even a guy that might be interesting. They are interested in letting things develop casually, socially and naturally, they way it's supposed to. You can give them their dreams and be the one guy they remember above all others.
This entire process of being ultimately successful with women is what I like to call the accelerated mating process (or program). It just bypasses all of the superficial crap or hidden agendas on both parties.
People today are not looking to get married with every date they go on, therefore MUST view dating differently!
A woman is going to respect you more if you are just honest about who you are upfront, than if you are just another schmuck who wants to take her out for a date and hopefully get sex afterwards. You do not have to make apologies about who you are, nor do you have to fall in line to the traditional 50-50 relationship approach which is not what women want anyways; so you can breathe a sigh of relief. There is a lot more to learn, so study up! Join my free newsletter if you want.